DIGITAL DESPAIR

Aneesa: Hi there.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Good morning, Ms. Aneesa Memon, Employee ID: 51893. Thank you for reaching out to Sir Fix-a-Lot, your friendly IT troubleshooting assistant. How can I help you?

Aneesa: Hi, this is a follow-up on an issue I had raised about my laptop last morning. The issue has not been resolved yet.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: I am so sorry for the inconvenience you are going through. But don't worry. I have a 99% issue resolution record. Can you specify the issues you are facing?

Aneesa: I shared all details, along with screenshots, photographs and other documentation yesterday itself. I would request you to refer to the same.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Have you raised a ticket for this issue. To know how to raise a ticket, click --> LINK

Aneesa: Yes, I have already raised a ticket. The ticket number is LP121030387.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Sorry, but there is no open ticket corresponding with the number that you have entered. Please check and enter the correct number.

<After 10 seconds of no activity>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Hello Aneesa. Are you still online?

Aneesa: Yes, yes. Give me a minute to recheck the number and respond please.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Of course Aneesa. <Starts countdown timer for 60 seconds>

Aneesa: Hi. I have checked the number. It is correct. Ticket number LP121030387.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Ticket number LP121030387 was resolved and closed at 16:55:03 HRS last evening.

Aneesa: HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE??? HOW CAN YOU CLOSE A TICKET WHEN AN ISSUE HAS NOT BEEN RESOLVED??? PLEASE RE-OPEN THE TICKET!!!

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Don't worry Aneesa. A troubleshooting ticket can certainly be re-opened in case of a lingering issue or an issue that has not been completely resolved. Would you like me to re-open the ticket?

Aneesa: YES PLEASE!

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Please enter the two-digit code received on your Authenticator App.

<After 10 seconds of no activity>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Hello Aneesa. Are you still online?

Aneesa: Yes. I need a moment to check the app.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Of course Aneesa. <Starts countdown timer for 60 seconds>

Aneesa: Hi. I haven't received any code. Can you please resend the same?

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Of course Aneesa. You will receive a fresh code in about 30 seconds.

Aneesa: <Enters the code>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Thank you for reaching out to Sir Fix-a-Lot, your friendly IT troubleshooting assistant. Your ticket has now been re-opened.

<After 10 seconds of no activity>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Hello Aneesa. Are you still online?

Aneesa: Yes! I thought you would start resolving the issue now that the ticket has been re-opened.

<After a 30-second pause>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Have you tried restarting your device?

Aneesa: WHAT??? I CAN'T BELIEVE A BOT IS SAYING THIS TO ME! I HAVE RESTARTED MY DEVICE AT LEAST A DZN TIMES SINCE LAST MRNG!

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Sorry. I don't understand. What is "DZN" and what is "MRNG"?

Aneesa: I MEANT TO SAY THAT I HAVE RESTARTED MY DEVICE AT LEAST A DOZEN TIMES SINCE LAST MORNING!

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Sorry. I understand your concern. Please try clearing your cache.  

Aneesa: Cache cleared. The PC is still lagging.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Have you tried logging out of the VPN connection and re-connecting?

Aneesa: I believe that was the last thing I did last evening before the ticket status changed to resolved. I don't want to go through that again.

<After a 30-second pause>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Unfortunately this is a part of the PC health check protocol. Please log out of the current VPN connection and re-connect.

Aneesa: ASTAGHFIRULLAH! NO! Is this how you maintain your 99% resolution record???

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Sorry. I don't understand.

<After 10 seconds of no activity>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Hello Aneesa. Are you still online?

<After another 10 seconds>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Hello Aneesa. Are you still online?

<Another 10 seconds pass>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: I presume your issue has now been resolved. Please confirm in the next 10 seconds, failing which the status of this ticket will change to 'Resolved' and will be closed. <Starts countdown timer for 10 seconds>

Aneesa: Can you connect me with a human tech support executive?

Sir Fix-a-Lot: I'm sorry that I was unable to meet your expectations. We have a 99% issue resolution record. Can you specify reasons for your dis-satisfaction?

Aneesa: I'm not dis-satisfied! I just think it might be easier to interact with a human. PLEASE connect me with a human!

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Certainly Aneesa. But before that, please rate our interaction on a scale of 1 to 5, with 1 being "highly dis-satisfied" and 5 being "highly satisfied".

Aneesa: NOT NOW PLEASE!

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Your feedback will only help us get better.

Aneesa: Okay then. Three.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Thank you for your feedback.

Aneesa: Please connect me with a human.

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Certainly. Please follow the steps below to transfer the job to a human:

1. Log out of the VPN and log back in. 
2. Restart your PC.
3. At the welcome screen, enter the two-digit code that shows up on your Authenticator App.
4. Unscramble and enter the captcha characters that appear on the next screen.
5. A 6x6 image grid will appear on the next screen. Select three images that correspond with your favourite animals, followed by one corresponding with your favourite political party to proceed to the next screen. Be careful not to select any wrong options, otherwise the entire process will need to be repeated again and your details will be emailed to your local police station.

Please respond with a YES to affirm that you have understood the process.

<10 seconds pass>

Sir Fix-a-Lot: Hello Aneesa. Are you still online? Hello? ANEESA?

This post is a part of the BlogchatterA2Z Challenge 2026