The year 2025 seems to have passed by like a bad dream.
In terms of career prospects and personal finances, the year has been one of several failures and disappointments. One bright silver lining though is that I have managed to make time to revisit my blog and make an attempt to revive it.
The year also saw certain Indian companies make the news for all the wrong reasons. One such company was a manufacturer of electric scooters (let's call the brand Low-La), who began launching his products with great fanfare from 2021 onwards, but has been facing severe brickbats because of the alarming rate of breakdowns ever since.
What makes you cringe is not the seemingly massive failure of his product, but his arrogant and defiant attitude, and the lack of urgency he is showing to address service requests and redressal of complaints. As of date, he seems to be spending more time posting on social media and getting into spats with stand up comedians on X (formerly known as Twitter).
According to reliable sources (only reliable to yours truly), a small set of irate customers are planning to put together a music album in the form of a mix-tape. The move is expected to help them build pressure on the company and also possibly recover some of the money wasted on their scooters.
Since I never hesitate to put in extra efforts to keep my readers ahead of the news, I have decided to share the tracklist with you. Enjoy!
Track #1: Oh Break-Downeya
Sung to the tune of Oh Bedardeya from the movie Tu Jhoothi Main Makkaar (2023)
A heart-wrenching ballad of betrayal by a scooter that suddenly conked off mid-ride.
Track #2: Aaj Ki Raat
Sung to the tune of the sizzling item number from the movie Stree 2 (2024)
The new version goes like this:
Thodi fursat bhi meri jaan kabhi customer care ko dijiye,
Aaj ki raat sazaa ride ka service centre se lijiye!
The seductive energy of the original takes a new lease of life with the service centre's come-hither vibe.
Track #3: Tere Vaaste Sadak Pe Main Parts Launga
Sung to the tune of "Tere Vaaste" from the movie Zara Hatke Zara Bachke (2023)
The music video for this song apparently features an over-eager love-crazy guy promising to find spare parts and accessories to get his lady love's electric bike up and running again.
A reprise version of the song, which goes "tere vaaste sadak pe tow van launga" is also on the cards. Stay tuned.
Track #4: Scoot Lutt Putt Gaya
Sung to the tune of "Lutt Putt Gaya" from the movie Dunki (2023)
No explanation needed here. Every single customer's review, loud and clear!
Track #5: Tauba Tauba
Sung to the tune of Karan Aujla's chartbuster featuring Vicky Kaushal, from the movie Bad Newz (2024)
In this song, the protagonist delivers a high-style calling out of the manufacturer's false promises.
Track #6: Aaya Re Toofaan
Sung to the tune of AR Rehman's hit from the movie Chhaava (2025)
Contrary to what many believe, this song is not about the speed of the electric bikes. It is actually about the speed of the oncoming deluge of customer complaints and service/repair requests.
Track #7: Uyi Amma
Sung to the tune of Madhubanti Bagchi's popular track from the not-so-popular movie Azaad (2025)
"Uyi amma haaye haaye main toh marr gayi" is the scooter's battery crooning with full energy before unexpectedly running out of juice. Perhaps the "...main toh marr gayi" warning should have been taken seriously.
Track #8: Khada Hoon Aaj Bhi Wahin
Sung to the tune of Delhi band The Local Train's indie-rock ballad, Choo Lo (2015), which has somehow seen renewed interest on Instagram over the past couple of years.
The track's intro goes "khada hoon aaj bhi wahi, ki dil phir bekarar hai, khada hu aaj bhi wahi, ki tera intezaar hai". A poetic lament about being stranded, both physically and emotionally, next to a scooter that simply refuses to move.
Track #9: Scatoor (Scooter)
Sung to the tune of Ghafoor from The Ba***rds of Bollywood
Very apt, because those scooters really are bad(ly-made) MFs.
Track #10: Breaky
Sung to the tune of Sanju Rathod's Marathi sensation "Shaky Shaky" (2025).
Instead of "ek number, tujhi kambar, hay chaal shaky shaky", the lyrics to the revamped version go "fake wonder, mothi blunder, tujhi bike shaky breaky"
Bonus tracks from the past: For people like me whose playlists take an awful amount of time to evolve.
Track #11: Kaise Hua? Kaise Hua? Tu Itna Khataara Kaise Hua?
Sung to the tune of "Kaise Hua" from the movie Kabir Singh (2019)
A tear-jerking introspective ballad, in the form of an interrogation of a scooter that promised mobility and delivered worthless scrap instead. The song also symbolizes the disappointment and disillusionment that owners of these blessed two-wheelers have ended up with.
Track #12: Email Na Koi Sandesh
Sung to the tune of Jagjit Singh's ghazal "Chitthi Na Koi Sandesh" (1998)
A song about the pain and frustration that builds up when follow-up calls, emails, and other correspondence go unanswered for months.
Track #13: Sadak Tak Chal Saath Mere
Sung to the tune of "Falak Tak Chal Saath Mere" from the movie Tashan (2008)
When your scooter is no longer able to run on wheels and battery, all you can do is 'walk' it down (bad) memory lane.
Track #14: Aaya Tow Van Jhoom Ke
Sung to the tune of "Aaya Saawan Jhoom Ke", the title track from a Dharmendra-Asha Parekh starrer (1969).
A song of abject surrender, half celebrating the arrival of the tow van with relief, resignation, and a hint of madness.
There you go! Hope you liked the tracklist. Do feel free to add your own recommendations in the comments section below.
I liked your full track list. You all still write such good songs. I wish the Low-la company would hear them all at least. You were writing so many posts before; Keep writing. I thought you only write poems.
ReplyDeleteOh my god !! Wat crazy tracklist..hilarous to another level... amazing ..really loved email na koi sandesh 😄❤️
ReplyDeleteI'm a sucker for humour and I enjoyed reading the post! Good track list. I would say, "Chalti ka Naam Gadi Nahi."
ReplyDeleteYou could easily turn this into a YouTube parody series.
ReplyDelete