World leaders today seem to be in a frantic race to win shiny peace prizes. Peace, meanwhile, remains as elusive as expectations of a bright future in my rapidly sagging career graph.
Now, I’m no expert in these matters. I can not tell my inner peace from the green peas lying in the corner of my freezer. But watching global leaders try to manufacture harmony with the finesse of a toddler assembling IKEA furniture (some aren't even pretending to try) is simply put painful.
So, in a moment of high EQ (and low tolerance for cringe), I’ve compiled five action-points to push for and achieve world peace. Here goes nothing:
- Launch dating apps exclusively meant for world leaders: The 100% foolproof way to ensure world peace is to keep politicians emotionally entangled and romantically distracted. Keep them busy launching pick-up lines and cringey forwards instead of missiles. Replace trade wars with love triangles.
- Conduct G-20 Summits and other global forum meetings inside massive pillow forts: No one would want to talk about violence inside cozy fortresses of fluff. Still wanna fight? Let's have a pillow fight!
- Replace all political debates with rap battles: Because mic drops are any day better than bomb drops. Get war mongers to showcase their lyrical combating skills and verbal ammo instead of military ones.
- Get world leaders invited to a podcast; or get them to feature on a chat with KJo or Kapil S: Put heads of state in a spot. Allow them to grapple with all the odd questions and awkward jokes for a while. Maybe all the over-sharing will lead to eventual regret and embarrassment, and force them to under-perform in the geopolitical arena.
- Get the hopelessly war-crazy ones to feature on India's Got Latent or any stand-up comedy show: After all, the easiest way to get cancelled these days is to crack 'offensive' jokes.
Of course, we could actually do something selfless, brave, and world-changing for the sake of peace. But where’s the fun in that?
This post is a part of the Blogchatter Half Marathon: October-November 2025.
Your humour is much needed in these stressful times. I love the first point, and I suggest getting Karan Thapar too for the chat.
ReplyDeleteWhat a start! This is such a cleverly written post sprinkled with humor in generous amount. Loved your creative way of ensuring world peace prevails.
ReplyDeleteI can't stop laughing! Your satirical take on global diplomacy is spot on. I think world leaders might actually get along better if they had to face off in a comedy roast or spill their tea on a podcast. Keep these hilarious insights coming; they’re exactly what we need right now.
ReplyDeleteWonderful suggestions. The first one is the best.
ReplyDeleteOmg, just imagine who gets the Cookie basket in KJo show.
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