IF WISHES WERE BIKES

It was raining meteors and asteroids. Jagan strained his eyes, trying hard to get a glimpse of the roads through the rain-splattered windows. The office was on the third floor. His eyes moved back to the laptop on his work desk. The system clock showed the time - 6:10 pm it said. He peered over to the work desk across his. Shruti was still there.

"Hey...erm..Shruti", he managed to say in a hesitant tone, "It's raining heavily. You still wanna wait back?"

"Umm...yeah", she said, her eyes fixed on the window. "Got a lot of work to do. I'll wait for an hour...hopefully it'll stop raining by then."

"Well...I'm leaving right now...you could join me in my car. I could drop you home."

"No yaar, it's fine...you go ahead", she said, with a sheepish smile.

"Aww c'mon. You could work from home. You don't wanna end up like a bheegi billi in this city. You know how unsafe this city is these days". He crossed his fingers, hoping she'd agree without a long debate.

"Hmm....alright. Gimme a couple of minutes to freshen up and pack my stuff."

Jagan smiled to himself. This was turning out to be a dream come true. He'd had the hots for Shruti since a year now. But the most time he'd so far spent with her alone would be around a minute at best at the water cooler, just exchanging pleasantries. Now was his chance to spend a lot of 'quality' time with her. The ride back home would be a good hour-long one, which could be extended with a few strategic speed adjustments. His brain starting flooding with ideas.

"I'm ready, let's go", she said, interrupting the devil's workshop.

He picked up his stuff and they went down to the parking lot. In a minute, they were in the car and on the wet road.

Paying absolutely no heed to the heavy plonking of raindrops on the windshield, Jagan mustered up a few words of conversation, "So...erm...you live alone in this city?"

"Yeah. Anyway we spend all our day at work, no? All I need is a place to play my head in the nights and to store my stuff, so it's all fine", she smiled.

"But this place you stay in...", he looked at the desolate road in front of him. "It's really God-forsaken, dontcha think? Can't see a soul here. How long to your hostel from here?"

"About 10 minutes, and then we'll get back to some trace of human existence", she winked.

"Don't you get scared?"

She shook her head, "I have a roomie."

"Oh...what about the other aspects of your life? Do you party during weekends?"

"Naw...I hate parties. I'd rather spend the whole weekend catching up on some rest or reading stuff. Plus, I have my roomie to chill out with."

"Seriously? You don't party? What about your love life?" he began to get intrusive. "Do you have a boyfriend?"

"Nah!", she laughed, "Don't have time for relationships. You know where we work, right?"

They both laughed. Jagan smiled a little extra to himself at the lack of competition.

Suddenly, they heard a weird sound. The car started wobbling.

Jagan instinctively knew what this was, but he didn't tell. He smiled discreetly. 'The tyre couldn't have chosen a better time to get punctured.', he thought to himself, smacking his lips in anticipation. His mind veered to scenes from tacky Bollywood masala movies.

Rainy night - punctured tyre - stranded couple - wet bodies - scary thunder claps - shady motel room - hormones out of control - clothes peeling off - action between the sheets. His mind went into overdrive.

"Jagan!" he was woken out of his wet dream by Shruti. "What was that sound? Why did you stop? Is everything..."

"Bad luck Shruti, the tyre's punctured."

"Ohhh...what are you gonna do now?"

"Is there a motel nearby?"

"Huh?"

"We can't stay all night inside the car, when it's raining outside, no?"

She laughed out loud. "Dude, my hostel's just a couple of kilometres away."

"Yeah, but how on earth are we..."

Before he could finish his sentence, she yanked out her phone and called someone.

"Baby, where are you? I'm stuck in the rain. On the old service road...yeah...just a couple of kilometres away...tyre punctured baby..."

"Hey...who's that you're speaking to?"

He had his answer earlier than he'd like to. In less than 3 minutes, a strapping guy arrived on a bike. Sandesh his name was, or something like that. Jagan didn't want to remember. He was her roomie she said.

And never in his life was he ever gonna forget swallowing what he thought was a heavy heart, while watching the couple speed away on that bike, leaving him all alone to fend for himself in the rain.

This post is a part of Write Over the Weekend, an initiative for Indian Bloggers by BlogAdda.

Cheers

HOLY WAR

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 42; the forty-second edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for the month is "COLOR"

The place would be thronging with people in some time. Zoeb knew it well. He smacked his lips in anticipation. The larger the crowd, the bigger the body count. The chances of missing your shots also reduced significantly with a larger number of potential targets.

He stayed put behind the bushes. There were others like him around, but he hoped no one else would come calling to share space. For hunters, sharing perches was as bad as sharing spoils.

A minute later, a lone young lady came walking out of the building lobby, dressed in executive formals, all decked up, leather bag in tow. She seemed to be looking around suspiciously, as if she was expecting something to happen any moment. Zoeb wasn't surprised.

She was now just a few metres away from his den. He couldn't miss from here.

He felt his weapon again. It felt awesome. A sniper rifle. Brand new, smooth, well-finished.

And most importantly....fully loaded.

He pulled it out, trained it on his target, watched through the telescopic sight, and caught the moving image of the lady at the centre of the cross-hairs.

And then, when he was sure that she was a goner, he pulled the trigger.

"AAHHHH...!!!"

She clutched her soaking-wet, blood-red blouse.

"YOU DIRTY PIG!!! I'LL TELL YOUR MOM ABOUT THIS!!!"

"BURA NA MAANO, HOLI HAI!!!", he screamed, and scampered off deep into the garden.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. Participation Count: 04

AALA RE AALA

Youth...Intoxicated
Vices...Fornicated
Innocence...Decimated
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

The Bikes...The thrill
To Hunt...To Kill
And Hunt They Will
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

The meek...Dominated
Feminity...Violated
Their ego...Satiated
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

The Jeers, The Howls
The Wolves, They Prowl
They Grope...Why No Foul?  
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

Handis...Smashed
The Moolah...Encashed
Tradition Be Damned!
Govinda Aala Re...Aala

An Orgy...Celebrated
A festival...Desecrated
Depravity...Exonerated

Rogue Govinda Aala Re...Aala...

The number of rogue 'Govindas' is increasing over the years. It's a real shame that these guys call themselves Govindas.

Why are our festivals turning into a excuse to harass people?

Is Indian culture overrated?

LOW AND DRY

Everyone at the table were already engrossed in an intense discussion when the waiters arrived with the dinner platters. Lars cursed his luck. Fortunately for him, nobody seemed to have noticed that he had suddenly gone quiet about two minutes ago. He checked his pant pockets. "Dammit", he muttered to himself. This was promising to be his most embarrassing experience, especially since this was dinner hosted by the boss and attended by the entire team. Deep in is heart, he prayed that they'd somehow just let him be till he squeezed himself out of his predicament.

He reckoned it would unnecessarily draw attention to himself if he excused himself at precisely the time when dinner had just arrived. Or maybe it'd be a tad rude. He shifted in his seat. He sat nervously, waiting for that moment when no one was looking in his direction. What moments ago was only a small precipitation had now developed into a catchment that would give way at even a slight whiff. Lars was getting increasingly panicky.

"Care for clams Lars?" his boss asked in a slightly less commanding tone than usual.

Careful not to nod or even move his face for the slightest bit, he answered in the affirmative. Lars hated seafood, but right now he wasn't in the mood to provide an explanation for his dislike. He simply wanted things to move on as quickly as possible.

"You haven't said a thing since dinner arrived. Is something wrong?" asked Deloris, as she tilted her head to take a closer look at Lars' face. The tone wasn't very discreet, and almost immediately, all heads turned in his direction. The precipitation was now a huge drop that he could no longer safely hold onto. Lars sensed they'd found out what was amiss.

Feigning ignorance, he said "Nah, all's well", before quickly dropping his table napkin on the floor, muttering a spontaneous-sounding "oops", going down to fetch it, and emerging a good three seconds later after wiping his nose with the same napkin.

Lars thought he had cleverly saved his day.

Unfortunately for him, runny noses seem to have other ideas.



P.S. - I'm down with a fever and chest congestion. Spent the entire weekend tending to a runny nose. If you want a yardstick, then I'll say it ran at the rate of 12 full (and I mean 'full' till you can take no more 'full') kerchiefs per day. 

Here's something interesting about runny noses. A guy was suffering for more than 18 months from what he thought was a chronic runny nose. Eventually, he found out that his brain was leaking fluid.

Here's the link ---> CLICK HERE

Brain Drain?

Photo Credit : Keith Wright, http://www.delish.com

"WeChat WITH ANYONE, ANYWHERE!" - INDIBLOGGER'S IndiVine CONTEST ENTRY

WeChat was officially launched in India in May 2013. The 'app' developed by Chinese firm Tencent, has already taken South East Asia by storm.


Check out the WeChat channel on Youtube.

IndiBlogger wants us to name five people, whether dead or alive, whether real or fictional, that we would want to converse with in a group chat session on WeChat.

So here's presenting the five people I'd love to converse with on WeChat:-

1) Dr.Funmohan Singh
The man's a genius. Unknown to many, he's also the unassuming Prime Minister of Bharatland. It would be an honour to be able to chat with the man....and the lady behind him ;)

2) Gappi Lahiri
Gold prices might have plunged of late, but at Rs.27,000 per 10 gram it's still a royal indulgence. In such a scenario, it makes sense to be friends with someone who owns half the world's gold. Gappida also copies makes decent music. To top it all, his accent is hillarious cute. I guess his spellings would be at par too.

3) Balman Khan
I absolutely hate the guy. I think it's his arrogance and 'I own you all' attitude that ticks me off. A WeChat conversation would give me a chance to diss him without having to get into a physical confrontation.  

4) Singchana Puran Singh
Simply for comic relief.

5) Bugs Bunny
When I was a kid, he was my favourite cartoon character. He's a perpetual trickster who can get away with anything, and always finishes one-up on his foes. His wisecracks are awesome. He's a bad boy that every gentleman secretly wants to be like. He's the only fictional character in this list.

Here's how a group chat with these folks would go:

Me             : Hello folks

Funmohan  : Jai Madam Di. A very good day to you all.

Gappi         : Haylow. Kemonacho?

Balman      : Sniff sniff...Nacho...yahaan? How? Hahahahahaha 

Singchana  : Hahahahahahaha...Mind blowing!!

Bugs           : Eh...Whats up doc?

Me             : Erm...No...this is WeChat. Really cool app, no?

Funmohan  : Oh yes. It allows me to send voice messages. My cabinet members tell me they can finally hear my voice.

Singchana   : Hahahahahahaha. So sweet. I wanna take you home.

Funmohan   : 

Gappi          : Ekto baat batao haamko. Can aai sand mijuk thru dhees WeChat?

Me              : Mijuk? 

Bugs           : Now cut that out. What's all this hubbub, bub?

Balman       : Ho ho ho. Kitaney prateeshat bhartiyon ko inki baat samajh mein aayi? Hahahah

Me              : Aww cmon guys. Give him a break. Gappi da. Yeh Mijuk kya hai?

Gappi          : Arre dada. Mijuk ij mai laaif. Mijuk ij mai paishun. Mijuk ij..

Funmohan   : Madamji says he's talking about 'music'.

Gappi           : Ekdam barabar FunMohan da. Mijuk.

Me               : Oh yes. You can also send files through WeChat.

Funmohan   : Really?

Me            : Yes Sir. It also supports video calling. It also has the LiveChat feature. Hai na kamaal ka?

Bugs            : Munch munch munch...I'm multiplying. See...I'm multiplying. 


Me              : Haha. That's an emoticon Wabbit. There are hundreds of em on WeChat :)

Singchana   : Minnnndblowwwing. You make me proud.

Balman       : What the blackbuck? I thought she was here for comic relief

Singchana   : Oh ho ho ho ho ho...blackbuck...hahahahahahahaha

Balman       : Cut it out old hag 

Me              : Old hag? Now look who's talking

Balman       : You talkin to me?

Me              : What's the matter? Didn't have your dose of Pre-vital today?

Bugs           : Uh oh. I think you know this means war!

Gappi          : Hoodi baba! 

Funmohan   : Madamji bless your soul

Singchana   : Ohh Gosh! Mind numbing!! 

Balman       : Pick the damn phone you #@$% 












This post was written as part of IndiBlogger's "We Chat with Anyone, Anywhere!" contest.