AND IT'S A SIX!!!

Scripted In Sanity has completed 6 years. Gifts are welcome.

Cash will be nice ;)

Cheers,
CRD

WHY THE WORLD DIDN'T END IN 2012

Here we are. We finished with 2012, are more-than-a-month into 2013, and the world didn't end.

So, you think the Apocalypse prediction was a farce?

No friends, it wasn't. I think it only got postponed.

An array of forces must have worked in tandem to keep the world going for yet another day...or more than that.

Here's why I think the WORLD didn't end in 2012:-

1. Because the Mayan calendar actually had another page which some genius must've casually misplaced
2. Because Nostradamus had better ideas
3. Because Rajnikant had already signed up for three more movies
4. Because Sir Alex "Wily Old Jackass" Fergusson bargained for Extraaaaaa time. Good job Man Utd!
5. Because someone God loves accumulated loads of Kingfisher Airlines' shares and is waiting for Mr.Mallya to come up with the investor/s he has been talking about since ages
6. Because some of the Gods thought it would be inauspicious to conduct such an important task during a leap year
7. Because the Angel of Death found it difficult to pile up the necessary ammunition in these times of high inflation and deep recession
8. Because many people suddenly took loans thinking that the world would end and that they'd escape the cursed EMIs, and God could afford to miss this opportunity for a "haw-haw" moment. In other words, he enjoyed a mega MTV Bakra moment
9. Because somebody got stoned at a new year party
10. Because everyone acted busy and didn't seem bothered. God didn't expect the Climax he had planned to evoke such a cold reception

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (I know I'm late)

Cheers

CRD

APOCALYPSE - MY BUCKET LIST

A lil birdie tells me the world is gonna come to an end on the 26th of December 2012. I guess God made sure Jesus didn't miss his birthday celebrations. I wish he’d keep his plans on hold for my benefit too, coz there’s a few things I wanna do before the Apocalypse comes calling.

So here’s my bucket list:-

• I wanna grab my school Arts teacher who beat kids for lame reasons and kick his ass (jet) black & (navy) blue

• I wanna perform a drum solo to an Iron Maiden/Pantera/Metallica/ AC-DC classic

• An Angus Young-esque guitar solo would be equally fulfilling

• I wanna lobby for pets’ entry into heaven/hell (whichever applies to me)

• I want Mamata Bannerji to define a  Mhaaoisht  Maoist

• I want all Premier League teams including Wigan, Reading and West Ham to thrash Man Utd. I want Arsenal to beat Man Utd 10-0

• I wanna stuff Patrice Evra up ‘Sir’ Fergie’s backside

• I want the ‘great’ Mr Dhoble to be assigned the task to clean up Shivaji Park

• I want Maharashtra police to show me a faster way to get arrested than updating my facebook wall

• I want the ‘Senas’ to extend their good work towards tasks like cleanliness drives. They’d probably do a good job on the borders too – pack em off to Ladakh or Siachen or PoK

• I wanna get hold of the Jackass cool chap who produces farty noises blows the Shankh on each and every Indian TV serial

• I want Ram Gopal Varma to direct an entire week’s schedule of CID. I’m sure he can’t do worse than B P Singh

• I wanna come across a few more women who ‘really’ believe in gender equality. Down with hypocrites and manipulative bitches

• I want Raghu Ram (of MTV Roadies fame) to spend a week in the Big Boss house and Imam Siddique to make his life hell

• I want Narain Kartikeyan and Karun Chandok to win a Grand Prix…or to at least finish their races without retiring mid-way

• I want Kingfisher Airlines to fly again

• I want my stocks portfolio to show gains

• I want my income tax refund

• I wanna yank the masks off fake friends’ faces and to give them the royal finger

• I wanna refuse an autorickshaw ride and video-record the auto driver’s reaction

• I want SRK to kick Salman Khan’s ass…literally. And I want Salman to let out a painful yelp…in that stupid accent he acquired from God knows where

• I want to conduct a poll on which dance step is better - Daler Mehndi’s Tunak Tunak Tun or PSY’s Gangnam Style?

• I want the Apocalypse to be postponed to after 9th January. I have a birthday too, God

See you on the 27th. Venue to be announced later, depending on what happens on the 26th ;)

Till then, Hasta la Vista!

THE KING OF NOT-SO-GOOD TIMES

Kingfisher Airlines' license to fly was suspended yesterday. Someone wrote something on his FakeBook wall soon after.

Click the link below for a view of the said FakeBook Wall. 

LINK

BLAME IT ON THE DARK

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 31; the thirty-first edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The theme for this month is 'Strangers in the Night'

Dark was the night and weird the atmosphere. It rained from time to time. Gusts of wind shook the nearby forest. Between thunderclaps and the moaning of jackals could be heard the eerie laughter of spirits. But King Vikramaditya held his nerve. Braving extreme fatigue and a throbbing headache, he walked towards the ancient tree once again. It was pitch dark, and he could barely see his own nose in whatever little light the moon could afford. Nevertheless, after struggling for more than ten minutes, he climbed the tree and reached out for the corpse that hung from it. Ignoring the corpse's violent protests, he brought it down. In keeping with the usual routine, he flung it over his shoulders and walked towards the cremation ground for the umpteenth time.

However, as soon as he began crossing the desolate cremation ground, the spirit that possessed the corpse said, "Pardon me, I have a really sore throat, so you're gonna have to pay a little extra attention tonight. I'm sure I've said this to you a million times already, but I can't understand what your aim is. What do you seek from me? It is pitch dark, and you & I can barely see anything. Aren't you afraid of the dark?"

The King merely shook his head in a horizontal motion to indicate that he wasn't, careful not to break his vow of silence. He kept walking.

"I don't intend to be rude, but your back smells like shit. When was the last time you had a bath? You seriously need to gome home."

The King was tempted to say 'My back smells like crap coz it's you who's been piggybacking me a million times.' But he kept mum.

The spirit continued, "Alright, without further ado, let's get back to business shall we?", in a tone that sounded like he was teasing the King.

The King nodded in the affirmative. 

"Very well then. Adinath from Maynagadh had seven livestock animals - three goats and the rest cows. He had a policy of milking only one animal per day. In a week's timeframe, what is the probability of Adinath having milked a goat? If you know the answer and still keep mum, your head will be blown into a thousand pieces."

The King was annoyed. He thundered back, "Hey, time out mister! This ain't fair! You're not supposed to ask me mathematics and statistics-based questions! And where's the story?"

The corpse was stunned. He leaned over the King's shoulder to take a look at his face.

Their eyes met for the first time.

"Which tree?", the corpse asked in an irritable tone.

The King smiled sheepishly, visibly embarassed at his faux pas. "Tree no. 43C - Moral Science."

"That's about a dozen trees from mine.I'm from 39A - Statistics"

An awkward silence dwelt over the strangers in the night thereafter, as the King carried the corpse back to its creepy abode.

Picture and background of the main write-up thanks to Chandamama Comics - www.chandamama.com

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. I've participated in 3 editions so far.