DRY BABY, HAPPY BABY

"A Child Can Teach An Adult Three Things - To Always Be Busy With Something, To Know How To Demand With All His Might That Which He Desires, and To Be Happy For No Reason." 

- Paulo Coelho

There couldn't have been a more accurate quote about children, especially toddlers. A child is free from all the worries in life, the same worries that are as burdensome as huge rocks strung around necks for us adults. It doesn't take much to make a kid happy, sometimes something as simple as calling out his/her name can make a child beam from ear to ear and cackle like there was no tomorrow. Also, their smile is infectious. When you seem them happy, you end up with a smile across your own lips.

They say a child cries only in three scenarios - when they're hungry, when they're sleepy, and when they need a diaper change. Of course, sometimes kids cry when they crave for your attention and care. So, by and large, if you are able to meet these needs, you are keeping your baby happy.

My son, Nigel, is one and a half years old now. From a grumpy child with a perpetual scowl on his face as an infant, he has turned into a very naughty toddler who always smiles, loves to babble at everyone, whether known or strangers, and always has a trick or two up his sleeve and mischief in his eyes. He loves playing hide and seek, opening bags, playing with shoes, tossing and turning playfully in bed, pretending to have fallen asleep, and many other things. He has his moments of tantrums, where he's absolutely hell-bent on getting what he wants, and such moments, on certain days, are less spaced out that we'd like. But by and large, it is not hard to keep him happy.

Presenting a few things that keep my son happy:-

1) A Lift - Most kids love to be lifted. It gives them a sense of being loved and protected. Also, it also gives them a sense of power and achievement to be able to see the world from the same height as you. I think it also makes it easy for them to speak to you face to face, without straining their necks while looking up at you.

2) Going Outdoors - Toddlers are curious beings. although some kids are happy being safe and rested at home, most kids love to see the world and to experience new sights, sounds, touches, smells, elements and experiences. The outdoors are like a whole new world for toddlers. An outing is like a learning experience, and makes kids very very happy. So much so that when I or my wife leave for work, my son bawls when he is not allowed to come along with us.

3) Gadgets and Gizmos - My kid stares in amazement every time the TV is switched on. It's not a good habit at all, but sometimes running behind a kid makes us feel helpless at time when we need to rush, and that's when the TV comes to our rescue. My son starts clapping every time Taarak Mehta Ka Ulta Chashma plays on TV. Baby TV and Home Shop 18 are his favourite channels. Apart from TV, he loves mobile phones a lot. When we're occupied with other stuff, he loves to fidget with our phones. The way he learnt to unlock our phones by swiping across the screen with his thumb is simply astounding. He thumb moves in one single stroke, and with a flourish, and leaves onlookers dumbstruck and laughing.

4) Pampering by Loved Ones - Kids are loved by one and all. Young girls play with them for hours and shower them with hugs and kisses, oldies give them loads of pampering and parents just run behind them like they are royalty. Nigel has two sets of grandparents, who absolutely adore him, and literally dance to his tune and his whims and fancies. It makes us parents very envious, because all our ideas of strictness and discipline, that we encountered as kids, suddenly get tossed out of the window when it comes to him.

LOOKING FORWARD

The waiting room seemed packed to the rafters. Although the open windows offered us a lot of fresh air, there weren't enough seats for everyone. I, for one, had been standing for almost three hours now, one outside the clinic, before the shutters were even up, and two more inside the clinic, awaiting my turn. I had reckoned that not many people would come an hour early to book their slots for a consultation. I was wrong.

I had my biopsy report with me. It had cost me a bomb, this 20-pager bland sheet filled with a lot of numbered readings and medical terms that I would never be able to decipher in a hundred years or two. All that concerned me was the fact that I had strange lesions all over my scalp, and that they hurt and bled, and that they had begun to spread to my face. A new unwelcome update was that diagnosis and treatment was making a sizeable dent in the household savings. I couldn't afford to let this monster get bigger.

A good 45 minutes later, my turn finally came. The doctor, a lady slightly older than my mother welcomed me in. After the customary asking about general well-being, she asked me for the biopsy report and the histopathology laboratory slide that came with it.
I broke the silent moment, "I've done a little reading about this alopecia mucinosa online. Is really a precursor to lymphoma?"

She huffed, "In 40 per cent of the cases, yes, people do end up with lymphoma within a span of three years." Then she smiled. "But you don't have to worry too much. Just go ahead with the treatment religiously."
A more worried and 'woe-is-me' look came across my face now. "I'm scared Doctor. My wife is pregnant, and we have our hands tied due to our housing loan.”

She cut in, “You worry a lot son, you need to relax.”

“But…”
“Listen son”, she continued, “Life is full of problems, it never has been easy, and it never will be easy. Difficulties will come at unexpected points, sometimes you will have your plate full and you will feel helpless.”

I nodded half-heartedly.

“Seriously son. You need to have faith. Do you see that lady at the reception table out there?”

I looked outside. A young, thin, but seemingly healthy girl sat t the table, ably taking down appointments.

She continued, “Yes, her. She had exactly the same problem as you did. That was 5 years ago. But she wasn’t depressed like you are. She stayed busy and left the rest to treatment and to fate. You need to stay strong son. Life is hard, but you need to keep your chin up, otherwise you’ll lose your battles before they even begin.”

She prescribed me some medicines. But I don’t know if the medicines were even half as effective as her pep talk. It changed my outlook towards life and gave me renewed hope.

As luck would have it, the problem was not life-threatening at all.

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WHAT MY FATHER TAUGHT ME

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My Father is a very emotional man. He's also a hard taskmaster, and tends to get very impatient when a task is not done the way he wants it done, and within his preferred time-frame. If he's pissed, everyone gets to know, because he makes his displeasure known very expressly. There is another aspect to his personality, he loves his family. However, like most 'Indian Dads', he is not very expressive when it comes to showing love and caring.

Since childhood, my dad has always made sure that we had a disciplined upbringing. As kids, me and my two siblings were always told to follow a disciplined lifestyle. A very important rule was that money had to be valued, and that wasteful expenditure would not be acceptable. We never got things easily as kids. If we ever had a an item on our wishlist, whether it was something we wanted for our birthday or otherwise - clothes, shoes, toys, books, go to a movie, etc. - it would always have to be something our parents approved of. Also, even after getting approvals, we always had to earn them through good conduct or by doing a good job - whether in terms of chores or tasks or in our studies.

I have never been someone who has too many expectations. I find it difficult to ask for things, and it is hard for me to say no. Even when asked if i wanted something, I would feel shy to ask. My dad's strict persona also made me hesitate to ask for things. As a result, I hardly had too many fancy belongings while growing up. There were many times that I would see my peers - classmates, friends...and even siblings - flaunt their stuff, while I would have nothing. I would sit quiet about it, but deep inside I would actually indulge in self-pity and disappointment on what I didn't have.

But as I grew up and started working, I slowly realized that I somehow had a trait that not many friends of mine could claim as their strong points. I realized that I had not picked up habits that were expensive and that would burn a hole in my pocket. I had somehow developed an ability to save a significant portion of my earnings, nevermind what my salary was, while my friends seemed to struggle like crazy while trying to finance their lifestyles. Initially I would wonder what I was doing differently. Eventually it dawned upon me that it was the value system that demanded that I be cautious with my spendings and save more that held me in good stead, and continues to keep me secure even today. The best part is that I don't even have to look stingy, because I have my share of fun and leisure, albeit in moderation. 

I can only thank my parents for this, especially my dad. I am glad that he did not raise us to become spoilt irresponsible brats. I wish I can teach half the lessons he taught me to my son.

He truly has taught me to live life 'Apne Dam Par'.

Sometimes it takes a little motivation, a little inspiration and a little support to live life on your own terms.

Watch the video embedded below to see how HDFC Life supported a father in helping his daughter get to her feet, literally.

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RITUALS FOR MY BABY

All living beings (at least most of them) need their share of sleep every day. It's sleep that gives our minds and bodies the time to relax and recharge our batteries. Without our 40 winks (or more), we would never have the energy to do any work. Research has shown that man can survive for a month or more on just water, but without sleep, he will SURELY die in 11 days.

Human adults, no matter how busy their lives might be, never compromise on their sleep. They devise innovative methods and put to use all their time and situation management skills to get some sleep. Some of us are fortunate enough to have chilled out working hours. As a result, most adults tend to have more or less fixed sleeping hours. With kids, however, things are a little complicated. They obviously don't follow a fixed sleep pattern, their body clocks are simply not from this world, and adults have to struggle to tuck them into bed so that they themselves don't lose out on their sleep. All parents will vouch for the fact that kids have given them sleepless nights and drowsy days.

My son is barely 15 months old now. But at close to 2 feet in height and enough strength in his limbs to knock out Chota Bheem, he's way past the days when swaddling could get him into slumber mode. Me and my wife have spent sleepless nights dealing with a cranky kid in the wee hours. A cheerful kid on a night prowl isn't any better, what with him practicing hair pulling on the wife and WWE-style wrestling maneuvers on yours truly at 3-friggin-o'clock in the night, or even  simply jumping up and down and making eerie noises or shouting and laughing aloud in the still of the night.

But being resilient adults, we tried and tested a few methods to manage mayday. Some work most of the time, some worked only initially, and some gave the false impression of working only because our son had pity on us and played along. So, for the benefit of young parents, and soon to be parents, here's what we did:-

1) Hum a tune - You need not be a Shreya Ghoshal or a Kishore, or even a sleep-inducing singer from the 50s to be able to pull this off. You don't even need to know lyrics - you could fit the lyrics of Jack and Jill to the tune of a kid-friendly version of a Marilyn Manson track to get the desired effect. Use his pet name to come up with a song like "Shonu boy, sleepy boy" to the tune of the Spiderman song (old tune) for best results. Psst: Avoid taking a video clip of your antics to avoid embarrassing yourself in front of family and a grown-up kiddo in the future.

2) Pretend you're sleeping - This initially seemed to have a wonderful magic wand-esque effect. Within a minute (or maybe 10...patience is a virtue), your kiddo is likely to go into hibernation like you. Beware: This is one game in which he/she can be a step ahead of you and play along for some time before giving you a rude shock later.

3) A head massage - Works wonders, especially when it's done by a favourite grandparent. Here again, it's not a privilege that your kid might have accorded to you, so no guarantee.

4) Hand him/her a feeding bottle - Some kids tend to sleep during breastfeeding. Using a feeding bottle can replicate the effect. Dunno why it works.

5) Entertain the kid - A lot of times, kids are hyperactive simply because they need your attention and want you to indulge them. Reading a story book, getting into an impromptu jig, playing with toys along with them can give them a reassurance of your presence and their well-being. On the flip side, you might end up losing your sleep for the night while he/she bids goodnight.

Watch the video below to see how Pampers can ensure at least 12 nights of peaceful and comfortable sleep for your child.

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FIVE THINGS I WOULD HAVE DONE IF I COULD LIVE BEFIKAR UMAR-BHAR

Source: http://sd.keepcalm-o-matic.co.uk/

There is an English phrase that sounds cliched and done-to-death. It goes "Live Life to the Fullest". A simple phrase, without any difficult spellings, without words that are hard to pronounce, and yet a phrase that is JUST SO HARD to put into action.

Why?

Because our lives have become so mechanical that we hardly find time to do much. Everyone wants a piece of us - our bosses, colleagues and partners, our families, our neighbours, our subordinates, the government, society, and even ourselves. Most of us end up giving 99% of our lives to work and family, with less than 1% left for ourselves. Life is a mad rush, which begins as soon as we begin to work and start setting and achieving one goal after another. Thereafter, we get caught in an endless loop of never-ending worries.

So what would I do if life was without worries? What would I do if there was no fear of failure? What would i do if I was guaranteed a chance to start afresh after every failure without much damage from a fall?

Here are 5 things I would have done if life was BEFIKAR UMAR BHAR:-

1. Go globetrotting - Those close to me know that I love places of historical importance. So be it a fort, or a palace, or a museum, or maybe even an ancient torturing device, I'd love to take a piece of history away with me on every tour. I wish I could visit as many historical sites in the world - right from castles in England/Scotland/Wales/Ireland, to the pyramids in Egypt, to Indian Forts, to ancient underground tunnels, to medieval churches. I'm sure though, that one life isn't enough to see everything.
2. Play a musical instrument - I'm a great fan of music - be it ghazals, or filmi stuff, or R&B, or Gospel, or even Death metal, I listen to a wide range of genres. I always wanted to play the drums, but I figured it would be expensive to buy a drum kit. As a college kid, guitars fascinated me too, like all young dudes I'm sure (they still fascinate me). I tried learning the guitar, but I guess I lost patience too soon when I couldn't pick barre chords or identify chords by ear. But someday I wish I could play an instrument like a pro. And maybe even do a gig with friends.
3. Try out all kinds of cheese - I'm a big cheese lover. I love my cheddar and gouda, and wanna try some other varieties. Unfortunately, cheese tends to get converted to lard on various parts of my anatomy, and so I have to shy away from indulging (besides the fact that some varieties of cheese are too heavy on the pocket as well). But someday, I wanna indulge without a care in the world.
4. Write a book - I always thought that writing a book is a difficult task, but after having interacted with a few writers, I realised that the actual struggle starts after the book has been written. It entails a lot of money (if you want to self-publish), time (writing, proof-reading, editing, promotions, approaching publishers, etc.), and patience. But if life was any simpler, I wish I could write a book - maybe an anthology is more practical.
5. Go on a killing spree - The world is becoming an increasingly horrible place to live in, what with heartless terrorists and criminals gaining power and control, and doing their stuff at will, without any resistance. If life was BeFikar, I'd like to go trigger happy on these scum.

Unfortunately, those who have responsibilities and loved ones depending on them can not feel Befikar, no matter how hard they tried. But there are some things that can give you some sense of security about your dear ones' well being and future, no matter how little it might seem. Insurance is one such thing.

For 5 reasons to be Befikar Umar Bhar with IDBI Federal in association with Ageas, visit the link http://bit.ly/BefikarUmarBhar

This post is written for IndiHappyHours Campaign  #BefikarUmarBhar