Scripted in Sanity

"WeChat WITH ANYONE, ANYWHERE!" - INDIBLOGGER'S IndiVine CONTEST ENTRY

WeChat was officially launched in India in May 2013. The 'app' developed by Chinese firm Tencent, has already taken South East Asia by storm.

Check out the WeChat channel on Youtube.

IndiBlogger wants us to name five people, whether dead or alive, whether real or fictional, that we would want to converse with in a group chat session on WeChat.

So here's presenting the five people I'd love to converse with on WeChat:-

1) Dr.Funmohan Singh

The man's a genius. Unknown to many, he's also the unassuming Prime Minister of Bharatland. It would be an honour to be able to chat with the man....and the lady behind him ;)

2) Gappi Lahiri

Gold prices might have plunged of late, but at Rs.27,000 per 10 gram it's still a royal indulgence. In such a scenario, it makes sense to be friends with someone who owns half the world's gold. Gappida also ~~copies~~ makes decent music. To top it all, his accent is ~~hillarious~~ cute. I guess his spellings would be at par too.

3) Balman Khan

I absolutely hate the guy. I think it's his arrogance and 'I own you all' attitude that ticks me off. A WeChat conversation would give me a chance to diss him without having to get into a physical confrontation.

4) Singchana Puran Singh

Simply for comic relief.

5) Bugs Bunny

When I was a kid, he was my favourite cartoon character. He's a perpetual trickster who can get away with anything, and always finishes one-up on his foes. His wisecracks are awesome. He's a bad boy that every gentleman secretly wants to be like. ~~He's the only fictional character in this list.~~

Here's how a group chat with these folks would go:

Me : Hello folks

Funmohan : Jai Madam Di. A very good day to you all.

Gappi : Haylow. Kemonacho?

Balman : Sniff sniff...Nacho...yahaan? How? Hahahahahaha

Singchana : Hahahahahahaha...Mind blowing!!

Bugs : Eh...Whats up doc?

Me : Erm...No...this is WeChat. Really cool app, no?

Funmohan : Oh yes. It allows me to send voice messages. My cabinet members tell me they can finally hear my voice.

Singchana : Hahahahahahaha. So sweet. I wanna take you home.

Funmohan :

Gappi : Ekto baat batao haamko. Can aai sand mijuk thru dhees WeChat?

Me : Mijuk?

Bugs : Now cut that out. What's all this hubbub, bub?

Balman : Ho ho ho. Kitaney prateeshat bhartiyon ko inki baat samajh mein aayi? Hahahah

Me : Aww cmon guys. Give him a break. Gappi da. Yeh Mijuk kya hai?

Gappi : Arre dada. Mijuk ij mai laaif. Mijuk ij mai paishun. Mijuk ij..

Funmohan : Madamji says he's talking about 'music'.

Gappi : Ekdam barabar FunMohan da. Mijuk.

Me : Oh yes. You can also send files through WeChat.

Funmohan : Really?

Me : Yes Sir. It also supports video calling. It also has the LiveChat feature. Hai na kamaal ka?

Bugs : Munch munch munch...I'm multiplying. See...I'm multiplying.

Me : Haha. That's an emoticon Wabbit. There are hundreds of em on WeChat :)

Singchana : Minnnndblowwwing. You make me proud.

Balman : What the blackbuck? I thought she was here for comic relief

Singchana : Oh ho ho ho ho ho...blackbuck...hahahahahahahaha

Balman : Cut it out old hag

Me : Old hag? Now look who's talking

Balman : You talkin to me?

Me : What's the matter? Didn't have your dose of Pre-vital today?

Bugs : Uh oh. I think you know this means war!

Gappi : Hoodi baba!

Funmohan : Madamji bless your soul

Singchana : Ohh Gosh! Mind numbing!!

Balman : Pick the damn phone you #@$%

This post was written as part of IndiBlogger's "We Chat with Anyone, Anywhere!" contest.

AND IT'S A SIX!!!

Scripted In Sanity has completed 6 years. Gifts are welcome.

Cash will be nice ;)

Cheers,
CRD

WHY THE WORLD DIDN'T END IN 2012

Here we are. We finished with 2012, are more-than-a-month into 2013, and the world didn't end.

So, you think the Apocalypse prediction was a farce?

No friends, it wasn't. I think it only got postponed.

An array of forces must have worked in tandem to keep the world going for yet another day...or more than that.

Here's why I think the WORLD didn't end in 2012:-

Because the Mayan calendar actually had another page which some genius must've casually misplaced
Because Nostradamus had better ideas
Because Rajnikant had already signed up for three more movies
Because Sir Alex "Wily Old Jackass" Fergusson bargained for Extraaaaaa time. Good job Man Utd!
Because someone God loves accumulated loads of Kingfisher Airlines' shares and is waiting for Mr.Mallya to come up with the investor/s he has been talking about since ages
Because some of the Gods thought it would be inauspicious to conduct such an important task during a leap year
Because the Angel of Death found it difficult to pile up the necessary ammunition in these times of high inflation and deep recession
Because many people suddenly took loans thinking that the world would end and that they'd escape the cursed EMIs, and God could afford to miss this opportunity for a "haw-haw" moment. In other words, he enjoyed a mega MTV Bakra moment
Because somebody got stoned at a new year party
Because everyone acted busy and didn't seem bothered. God didn't expect the Climax he had planned to evoke such a cold reception

HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! (I know I'm late)

Cheers

CRD

APOCALYPSE - MY BUCKET LIST

A lil birdie tells me the world is gonna come to an end on the 26th of December 2012. I guess God made sure Jesus didn't miss his birthday celebrations. I wish he’d keep his plans on hold for my benefit too, coz there’s a few things I wanna do before the Apocalypse comes calling.

So here’s my bucket list:-

I wanna grab my school Arts teacher who beat kids for lame reasons and kick his ass (jet) black & (navy) blue

I wanna perform a drum solo to an Iron Maiden/Pantera/Metallica/ AC-DC classic

An Angus Young-esque guitar solo would be equally fulfilling

I wanna lobby for pets’ entry into heaven/hell (whichever applies to me)

I want Mamata Bannerji to define a ~~Mhaaoisht~~ Maoist

I want all Premier League teams including Wigan, Reading and West Ham to thrash Man Utd. I want Arsenal to beat Man Utd 10-0

I wanna stuff Patrice Evra up ‘Sir’ Fergie’s backside

I want the ‘great’ Mr Dhoble to be assigned the task to clean up Shivaji Park

I want Maharashtra police to show me a faster way to get arrested than updating my facebook wall

I want the ‘Senas’ to extend their good work towards tasks like cleanliness drives. They’d probably do a good job on the borders too – pack em off to Ladakh or Siachen or PoK

I wanna get hold of the ~~Jackass~~ cool chap who ~~produces farty noises~~ blows the Shankh on each and every Indian TV serial

I want Ram Gopal Varma to direct an entire week’s schedule of CID. I’m sure he can’t do worse than B P Singh

I wanna come across a few more women who ‘really’ believe in gender equality. Down with hypocrites and manipulative bitches

I want Raghu Ram (of MTV Roadies fame) to spend a week in the Big Boss house and Imam Siddique to make his life hell

I want Narain Kartikeyan and Karun Chandok to win a Grand Prix…or to at least finish their races without retiring mid-way

I want Kingfisher Airlines to fly again

I want my stocks portfolio to show gains

I want my income tax refund

I wanna yank the masks off fake friends’ faces and to give them the royal finger

I wanna refuse an autorickshaw ride and video-record the auto driver’s reaction

I want SRK to kick Salman Khan’s ass…literally. And I want Salman to let out a painful yelp…in that stupid accent he acquired from God knows where

I want to conduct a poll on which dance step is better - Daler Mehndi’s Tunak Tunak Tun or PSY’s Gangnam Style?

I want the Apocalypse to be postponed to after 9th January. I have a birthday too, God

See you on the 27th. Venue to be announced later, depending on what happens on the 26th ;)

Till then, Hasta la Vista!

THE KING OF NOT-SO-GOOD TIMES

Kingfisher Airlines' license to fly was suspended yesterday. Someone wrote something on his FakeBook wall soon after.

Click the link below for a view of the said FakeBook Wall.

LINK