TAGELA!!!

Im broke for ideas. Haven't posted since ages it seems. So what do you do when there's no ray of Hope. You do a tag[:P]

Jan(Zenny) has passed on a tag to me. A friend made me upset again, and went offline to go reading. So here I am, taking time off to fulfill my tag vows to Jan. :P. Here we go....

1. Grab the book nearest to you, turn on a random page and find random line.
"Not today...I think I have fallen OUT OF LOVE with it".
What crap!! I love ma blog :x

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can.
...and yays! You're the new traffic policeman...Hell, what was I supposed to do here? :O

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
Harman Baweja's dance in a song from Love Story 2050?

4. Without looking, guess what time it is?
Time to post something on my blog!! :D

5. Now look at the clock, what is the actual time?
11pm, 00 minutes, 24 seconds.

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Some crappy overdramatic dialogue from a 'news' capsule on India TV...wonder why mom watches it. I wanna murder a certain Rajat Sharma right now:P

7. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
Jan's post! :d

9. What are you wearing?
Grey shorts, and a towel draped around my shoulders.:P

10. Did you dream last night?
I have no clue..I never remember my dreams, until I have a deja vu experience.

11.When did you last laugh?
Today evening, when I and my friends Rolf and Wilson pulled another friend, Sunil's leg.He's getting married soon,if you're wondering why him. :P

12. What is on the walls of the room you are in?
Pink paint and 2 mosquitoes.There's gonna be bloodshed :P

13. What do u think of this quiz?
Filler for my blog.:P

14. Which was the last film u saw?
Khuda Ke Liye!!SUPERB...except for a few ham actors :d. SUPERB Music

15. If you became a multimillionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Lotsa food...........and an insurance policy :P.

16. Tell me something about you that I dunno.
I'm ambidextrous.

17. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
Nothing...I wouldn't have been here right now if anything had to be different.

18. Do you like to dance?
Not right now.Mebbe when I learn to dance and stop thinking that I'd look like an ostrich doing a cabaret on one leg :P

19. George Bush
What about him?

20. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
Munna!

21. Would you ever consider living abroad?
Depends...I don't wanna live out of India alone.

22.What do you want GOD to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Now do you believe?

23. People who may do this memo in their journal.
Anyone who hasn't posted since ages. Salvation is here people!!!! :P

Rx..ChRiS

WHEN FACED WITH A DUMB QUESTION...

'A sentence worded or expressed so as to seek information or an answer' - That's how the Oxford Dictionary describes a QUESTION.

Everybody has questions. Everybody asks questions. Everybody needs to and ought to ask questions. How else would you get answers?

But have you ever faced a situation, where you feel you've had enough of questions, and that you can't take 'em anymore? Vague questions, mundane questions, moronic questions? Have they made you feel like pulling each strand of hair that rest on your scalp, or mebbe pull out the other guy's hair in case you're bald? [:p]

Yup, we come across a certain species of people who ask really stupid questions, questions that would put Indian TV journalists to shame. What do you do when faced with such a calamity?

Here's a list of things you could try...of course at your own risk:-

1. As soon as his/her question pops out of his/her oral orifice, pretend you didn't hear what was said. Instead, pretend that you heard some kinda sound from elsewhere. Say,"Did you hear that?"
   
   
2. Pause for a while, look skywards, scratch your chin and your temple for a few seconds, and then raise your arms in the air saying, "Pass, I give up. So what's the answer?"
   
   
3. Pretend that you got a call on your cell on silent/vibration mode. Excuse yourself.
   
   
4. Start an impromptu speech about Darwin's theory of evolution, proceed to the Big Bang Theory, and then to the Law Of Diminishing Returns. Pause and say, "Oh well, what was your question again?". If he/she doesn't get the hint and reverts to the same dumb question, repeat the cycle.
   
   
5. Suddenly fall off your chair and violently thrust youself up and down, and sideways - in short, give an Oscar-Winning performance of an epilectic having his bout of fits. After 5 minutes or so, get up and tell him/her that silly questions trigger epilectic attacks in you. By the way, make sure you slap him/her hard or give a Rooney-esque kick in the Tundra region a couple of times, lest they begin to enjoy your little jig on the floor.
   
   
6. This is known as the K-Serial reaction. Can be performed only when you're not looking straight into the dumbo's face when the question is hurled at you. As soon as the question falls on your tired ears, turn in his/her direction in slow motion "3 times", with big eyes and clenched teeth - yeah the same way they do it on K-serials. Watch any saas-bahu soap for inspiration, happens all the time. If you feel like slapping the moron, do that 3 times too.
   
   
7. Pull out your diary and ask the moron to repeat the question. Jot it down, and promise to get back after the 3rd Vatican council.
   
   
8. Ask the moron in a hushed tone to come to your room at midnight. When he/she comes at the fixed time, close the door shut, turn off the lights, use a chalk to draw an ouija board on the floor, light a few candles and ask him/her to concentrate. Start singing the Kolkata Night Riders' theme song to summon 'the spirits' (the KKR's theme sounds pretty much like a voodoo song :P). And then tell the fool to repeat the question.....if he/she hasn't run out yet. For better results, sing the DHAKKA BAKKA LUKKA (or whatever) song from the film YuVA.
   
   
9. The easiest thing to do, and the last resort - Stroke the dumbass' hair lovingly, smile and gently hum "TAARE ZAMEEN PARRRRRRRRRR"

1st ANNIVERSARY

16th May was supposed to be the First Anniversary of my blog. And I din't even notice. Dang.I missed out on celebrations.

Anyways. Here's wishing my DREAM ARENA A VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! Belated. [:(]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR BLOGGIEEEEEEEEE,

HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYY TO YOUUUUUUUUU!!!!

Clap Clap Clap Clap Clap :)

TAGGED - THE MUSICAL TAG

Marj,asked me to tag myself on this post...cha, aajkal blogging mein bhi buffet system aur self service chal raha hai [:p] It's called 'The Musical Tag'! It goes like this:(sorry for being so formal with the explanation, its apparently a clause in the Musical Tag protocol :p)

Put your MP3 player/Media player on shuffle.
For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
You must write the name of the song no matter what.

So lets begin. Tried this twice before but got weird answers. Trying again coz I haven't posted in ages....Lets go...

1. If someone says "Is This Okay?" you say?

Euphoria - Kabhi Aana Tu Meri Galli..
Hoolki??..Hehe, I guess I can't stand doubting Thomases.

2. What would best describe your personality?
Fuel - In My Hands...
The song goes this this way.."Don't fall away, and leave me to myself..."..Am I talking to myself? Am I a Schizo? [:o]

3. What do u like in a guy/girl?
Bombay Vikings - Kahaan Ho Tum
Yeah, where is she? I dunno what i like in her, and she's nowhere in sight...sigh

4. How do u feel today?
Ac/Dc - Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap
Hahaha

5. Whats your life's purpose?
Anwar -Toh Se Naina Laage
Eeks..there goes my career.

6. What is your motto?
Ghulam Ali - Chupke Chupke Raat Din Aansoo Bahaana Yaad Hai
:| Im gonna be a devdas for life!!!!!

7. What do your friends think of you?
Slipknot - Before I Forget
I am a world before I am a man
I was a creature before I could stand
I will remember before I forget
BEFORE I FORGET THAT!
I'm a monster!

8. What do u think of your parents?
Dus Kahaniyan - Jaaniye
There we go..its beginning to go haywire [:p]
Ok one line goes.."Khud se praya karle...apna humsaaya karle"
Ok so they want me to be less self-occupied and spend more time with em. Aint I ana analysing genius? [:p]

9. What do u think about very often?
Jannat - Lambi Judaai
True.....

10. What is 2+2??
Nazia Hassan - Aankhein Milane Waale
Ok, ankhein milana would mean 2 eyes meet 2..that makes it 4. Hah!

11. What do u think of your best friend?
Kailash Kher - Teri Deewani.
Arre no...its a joke!

12. What do you think of the person U like?
Aslam and Shibani Kashyap - Ho Gayi Hai Mohabbat Tumse
Hmm..

13. What is your life story?
Aaroh - Pyar Ka Jaal
Naw, not again!

14. What do u want to be when you grow up?
Billy Idol - Rebell Yell
Haha, how I wish I could do that.

15. What do think when you see the person u like?
Noori - Kuttey Te Tho Utthe
Lol, am I still so angry? [:p]

16. What do ur parents think of you?
Fuzon - Aankhon Ke Saagar
Lakt-E-Jigar, Aankhon Ke Chiraag would've sounded better. Oh well, nevermind.

17. What will you dance to at your wedding?
Alanis Morissette - One Hand In My Pocket
Haha, itni jaldbazzi? Itna desperation? [:p]

18. What will they play at ur funeral?
Green Day - Minority
Woah! I'll have punks at my funeral [:p]

19. What is your hobby/Interest?
Judas Priest - Hell Bent For Leather
Dang, I wish I knew how to bike.

20. What is your biggest secret?
Jab We Met - Aao Meelon Chalein
Yup, I do walk a lot. But that's not a secret to people I know

21. What do u think of ur friends?
Jannat - Zara Si Dil Mein De Jagah Tu
Yup, I'd like to remain in my friends' hearts

22. What would u post this as?
Disturbed - Down With The Sickness [:p]
Hahahahahaha

That was all.
Chalo match khatam paisa hazam! [:P]

TO KILL A 'CLUCKING' BIRD

Sid looked at his watch. It was only 7 pm. Ann hadn't come back from her mom's yet. The old hen in their backyard was her usual cranky self, clucking away to her own mad glory.

Sid was bored. He was terribly hungry. The clucks were making him irritable too. He was getting impatient. T'was the season of LENT, and they'd been having nothing but DAL-MEAL COMBOS for the past 2 weeks. Seemed like 2 decades. Rice and DAL-Fry...Roti and DAL Makhni...Fried Rice and DAL.

DAL...DAL...DAL...BAH!!! He wasn't gonna have dal today, NO WAY! He couldn't wait 3 more weeks for the annual post LENT-Easter "Chicken-Massacre" to take place. He wanted it NOW! Anne would take an hour or 2 to get back. Now was his chance! The clucks continued outside. The neighbours yelled to complain like they used to everyday.

He had the perfect alibis to get rid of it. He went to the kitchen and brought out his Samurai-edge chopper. But something made him stop in his tracks. 'What would I say to Annie? First of all, it was Lent. Wouldn't it mess up their LENTEN vows? Also, the hen might have been a little too cranky..she might have pecked at them a couple of dozen times this week...the neighbours might be as irritated as they were of her DECIBEL-CRASHING fortitude. But those weren't good enough reasons to justify this act. How could he do that? Would it be right to do it simply because he didn't wanna have DAL again? Should he go ahead..that too to a hen from his own HOME's......

He stopped thinking.

A new thought came to his mind.

It was a EUREKA moment.

HE confidently went out, brandishing his chopper, seeking his soon-to-be dinner table centre-piece.

Two hours later, Annie opened the door with her set of keys.

"Honey, I'm home."

"Hey babes,go have a quick wash. I've prepared something special for dinner tonight."

"Oh really?", she said in jest. "Gimme 10 minutes."

The shower and 'under-dressing' took about 20 minutes. Enough time for Sid to set the table. 2 plates, cutlery, a plate of rice, a tray with salad, a bowl of DAL, and a HUGE platter, with an even BIGGER steel cover over it, rested on the table.

"So whats special?", she asked as he helped her sit.

"See for yourself."

"Oh wow! Rice that I cooked, Dal that again I cooked, salad, and...", she lifted the cover and suddenly her eyes were bloodshot seeing the chicken roast. "SIDNEY!!!...WHAT THE..."

"Relax Honey"

"SHUT UP!!..YOU...WHAT IS THIS???YOU KNOW ITS LENT, DON'T YOU?"

"Honey"

"HOW COULD YOU?"

"Baby"

"YOU'RE SUCH A..."

"BABY..Its our hen...the hen from our backyard. OUR HOME HEN" He now expected her to have the same EUREKA moment that he had 2 hours ago.

She stopped yelling.

The sane thought came over her mind.

She smiled at him.

They had their feast.

There was no guilt.

They both knew that their LENTEN promise to only have DAL was still intact!!

....

....

....

....

After all..."GHAR KI MURGI DAAL BARABAR" :P

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Haha, wanted to write a weird story. Especially after reading a blog which has brilliant weird stories. Check out http://fubar69.blogspot.com/

I'm just a beginner, please don't hate me just yet! [:P]